I won't be contrived and say that this is the hardest letter that I have ever had to write, but I will risk cliche by reminding you, that breaking up is hard to do.
We've been together a long time and as you know, ours is not the only unhealthy relationship that I have had. Like those relationships, I have found a comfort in the momentum of our relationship and as a result have ignored it's more abusive tendencies. Also like those other relationships, I've reached a point of maturity at which I can no longer ignore that this relationship is too destructive for me to maintain. I'm sorry. I have to break it off.
There are always moments that crop up after a relationship, where you find yourself wondering "what if we were still together?" We'll think on the good times, like the care and attention you gained me, even in the days when we were just beginning and the whisper of irritable bowel wasn't even sure enough to call a full-blown chronic illness. I know there will be times when I miss the comfort that I had being in your embrace, defining myself by our relationship. Defining oneself by one's unhealthy relationship is never a good idea, and so I feel certain that when I am wondering and when I am missing you, choosing to be without you will be best for both of us. We'll both have to coexist in this big ol' crazy world, but I think that it's best if we don't contact one another for a while. You'll see, in time, that it's for the best.
You'll see me with other medicines, healthier alternatives. You may wonder why I don't dabble in the western medicines you and I used to. You may feel betrayed that I cut out our old friends (6MP, Humira, Prednisone, Pentasa, Asacol), you know as well as I do that they were all really your friends and not "ours".
I need to see what else is out there. I need to go out on my own and see what the world is like beyond our relationship.
I'll always be thankful for our time together. Not just because of the care, but also from all of the lessons I've learned from you. I'll keep them in a special place in my heart.